What's on my mind??

Been having lots of disturbing images and voices in my head lately...especially when I am fatigue, laying on my bed and getting all ready to sleep...

Yet, the disturbing scenes kept running on my mind, kept me awake and distressed.

Even if I am asleep, my dreams seem disturbing as well....First few nights is all about people dying...It happen even during a short nap...then it slowly tune down but it still seems to be solemn and gravely...and most of the time I was waken up by these dreams...

At first I suspected it was due to the stress on finishing up my FYP draft...

Then it came to this ridiculuos or some might said superstitious thoughts...Is '清明节' (qingming festival)....

Slowly I realised that it always started with a scene I heard in one of my class...on how this 'people' would got beaten up if they had request on their clients...then it leads to more and more violence and disturbing images that I had forgotten ages ago...it all seems to be coming back to me now...

Wonder what would happen if I had watched The Clockwork Orange?? or any of such genre movies?? Would I go insane??

Enough already with whats in my mind, yet today in class, lecturer highlighted those creepy, horrifying cum voilent movies...thanks god I never heard of any of those before...but she goes on with describing briefly on those scenes in the movie...Oh God~~

What worst was when she told the class about how people in the rural area kill their newborn...OH MY GOD~~

That might be one of the last thing people would want to hear about...

I am more worry about my sleeping issue now...Will people die of exhaustion like this?? Hope not but its really troubling me...

"Haiz".

我的情感.....

最近发现自己情绪有点低落。

无论再上课, 吃还是玩乐...感觉还是很空虚 ,心情总是闷闷不乐的。

连对自己最爱吃的芝士也无感觉了。

在这星期六天, 情绪好像有好转。 虽然整理房间有点累, 但是再累汗中我还是感觉到心旷神怡。

度过了一个忙碌的周六, 身体都累极了。

闹钟的响声都将我从酣睡中惊醒了, 令我悲从中来。

挣扎了一段时间, 终于说服了自己, 对自己说, "今天想要松弛的心情. 化悲痛为力量, FYP一定会有进展的!"。

可惜, 为了那一点点的小事情都闹气了。 留下了车子和她, 而带走了一肚子的气和眼泪。

我选择一个人挨饿。

明知道这只是个愚蠢的 固执, 但还是冲动的做了这个错误。

看来我又加多了一条疤痕在我们的感情上。

对不住, 再一次伤害了妳和我的心。

对不住, 我达不到你对我的期望。


情绪再一次减弱了, 沮丧又一次回到我身边..............